


Isn't It Lovely?

by writingwithmolls



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: F/F, Heartbreak, Hurt/Comfort, Selena can't escape her past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 07:51:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18890329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingwithmolls/pseuds/writingwithmolls
Summary: Selena is lovely. Selena is perfection.Selena can not forget her past.And yet, an unlikely ghost of the castle tries her best to help.





	Isn't It Lovely?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FyireMoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FyireMoon/gifts).



If Selena had to use one word to describe herself, it would be lovely.

_ She _ was the one who called her that. The word still held her voice when it was said, not Selena’s. She hated how much she wanted to pry the word from her grasps. It was an embrace that she once swore she would never forget.

Selena stepped away from the window, focusing on matching her breathing to Beruka’s rather than the chill of the wind. The other retainer was fast asleep, which was only proper at this hour. Her breath was much more subdued, especially compared to Selena coming down from the peak of panic. She was glad that Beruka was asleep. Selena didn’t want her to see her this way.

She tiptoed out of the room in search of a quiet place to sit in the light. The darkness existed wherever she went, enshrouding and expanding. An empty servants’ quarters sat in the dark. She lit a candle, flickering shadows cast onto the floor and stone walls. There were several arm chairs that sat by a cold fireplace. During the day, the maids and butlers would convene to gossip about the castle happenings, but it lay quiet in the night. A bookshelf loomed in the back of the darkened room.

Selena’s shadow sat straight in the armchair. Shoulders pushed back, chin up, not a single hair out of place. Perfection consumed every inch of Selena. It followed her as long as she could remember: from princess to retainer, from Severa to Selena.

She despised that name.

Too much pain was ingrained in each syllable. 

Creating a new one was a blessing in disguise. Odin. Laslow. Selena. Each one came with a blank slate, a canvas that was ready to be painted. It was her chance to leave the one coated in pain behind.

“Selena?” She jumped at the mention of her name. “Is everything alright? You seem upset.”

Her silence shattered, Selena found herself on her feet. “Lady Corrin.”

The princess had seemingly appeared in the doorway, no footsteps indicated her arrival. Selena tried to hide her shock.

“Milady, why are you awake?” Selena took in the princess. Even though she was Camilla’s, she was also the other Nohrian nobels’. She belonged to the family.

“I come here sometimes to think. I don’t sleep very well at night and it’s quiet in here.” The princess wandered to the bookshelf, looking over the titles on the shelves. She was new to the castle after years of being kept away in the fort. She was more or less a ghost. White nightgown, silver hair, pale skin. A Norhian ghost princess. “I read many books while I was at the Northern Fortress.”

Selena didn’t know if it was her place to respond. The middle princess always threw her off. She gave off such a feeling of  _ otherness _ . It was hard to know what to anticipate with her.

In the silence, the princess spoke again. “You look troubled, Selena.”

“I just can’t sleep, Milady. You should return, your retainers will be worried if they wake and you’re gone.”

“Kaze will be fine.” The princess held a book in her hands, flipping through the pages. “And please call me ‘Corrin.’ I’m tired of people calling me ‘Milady,’ it’s too formal.”

“It gets stressful.” Without thinking, Selena spoke from her experience. Even though none of the children worried about formalities. They only played up the “Exalt” business when they had to impress a possible ally. That, however, let to some calling Selena “Milady” when addressing her. “Not that I would know.” She amended too late.

“I’m afraid I do not know much about your life outside of being Camilla’s retainer.”

“As it should be.” Selena stiffened. “We are disposable, mi-- Corrin.”

“My sister fawns over you.” Corrin did not look up from the book.

“My liege fawns over everyone short of the enemy.” Selena countered, a smile playing on her lips. “You of all people should know.”

Corrin laughed, a sweet ring in the silence. “It’s strange living in the castle. I can’t help but think of it as an impending death, but I love living with my siblings. Properly meeting all their retainers. There’s something bright and warm about Castle Krakenburg.”

Selena could not stop herself from gaping at the princess. She had to be kidding. Windmire was the polar opposite of bright and warm. The castle stood amongst the darkness and rather than serving as a torch, it faded right in.

“Why do you look at me like that?” Corrin asked the retainer. “This place is a blessing compared to being locked away.”

“I guess.” Selena responded. She went from one war to another, but she still wouldn’t consider Nohr as “warm.” Sure, it was free of death, but the memories followed her to the new world, haunted her.

“You seem sad.” Corrin observed, turning her attention to Selena. Selena had failed to stop the frown from crossing her face. “I’m sorry if I brought up bad memories.”

“They were already there.” Selena said. With a deep sigh, she sunk back into the plush chair. She wanted to be alone. This princess was reminding her too much of another one. Though, this ghost was much kinder than the last ghost. She gave Selena the proper distance.

“I’m sorry that you have to deal with that.” Corrin took the seat across from her. She looked tired. “I can listen, if that’s any help.”

Selena considered it, but shook her head. “I shouldn’t burden a royal with my problems.”

Corrin leaned forward on her seat, her snow white hair falling in front of her shoulders. A piece obstructed her eye. Her hair was much more wild without the headband to contain it. “Between you and me, I hate that you feel I’m above you. I don’t think the royalty should be held on such a high pedestal just because we were born into the right family. A friend’s problems shouldn’t be below me.”

“You throw the word  _ friend _ around too lightly, my princess.” Selena said with a bite. She didn’t appreciate Corrin’s pushing.

Corrin frowned at the return of titles. “I care about my people, especially our castle’s retainers.”

“You don’t know anything about me. I’m hired to protect my liege.”

“And I know that you’re a good swordsman. You’re skilled in many areas. You spend all your time trying to prove yourself even when we all believed you the first time.”

Selena looked away, but straightened her back in the chair once more. She hated having the princess’s eyes on her. There was something unsettling about the red. No matter how kind her face appeared, it was overcome by the hue.

“Laslow sometimes refers to you as a princess, as does Odin.” Here it comes. “Were you once royalty? I had understood it to be a joke, but you said it got tiring being addressed as ‘milady.’”

Selena stayed silent, but her resolve faded with the continuous gaze. Revealing some information wouldn’t hurt. Maybe it would get Corrin off her back at the very least. “Married in. But that’s none of your concern. It’s in the past, now, anyways.”

Corrin was quiet for a long moment before asking. “Do you miss him?”

“There’s no more reason to miss her.” Selena realized her mistake once the word left her mouth.

“I’m sorry, I was just trying--”

“It’s over. It’s fine.” Selena bit her lip. She wanted to be alone.  _ Now _ . “You’re naive, princess. You’ve never had anyone throw you away. Everyone loves you for some reason, follows you blindly. You don’t know strategy, your siblings baby you and pretend you’re a general!” She didn’t realize that she was yelling.

“Ouch. That hurt.” Corrin winced with a sad smile. “But, accurate.”

Selena’s head began to clear as she realized what she had said to the princess. “I’m sorry, Milady.” She bowed her head. “I was out of my place.”

“I can understand you anger.” Corrin’s voice was still gentle. Selena could tell that she was calm. She knew that a critique of any other Nohrian royal would result in immediate punishment--but Corrin didn’t sound angry. “If we’re being honest, you are more qualified to lead troops. As I said: my stay in this castle is a harbinger of my death. I’m aware my father is making me a target. I know many people believe I’m in the dark about it, but I’m not.”

“Why are you letting it happen, then?”

“I hope I can change his mind.” She said quietly. “Even though I agree with many of your points--I have been thrown away. I was locked behind a door my whole childhood. I know that it’s Garon’s fault, but I can’t help but feel my siblings could have done more to help me. Xander or Camilla, especially. And I’m sure you’ve heard about what happened with my Hoshidan siblings. Takumi wants me dead… and I understand why. I know how it feels to be discarded, Selena, and I’m sorry that you feel that way.”

Corrin’s words echoed in her head:  _ I’m afraid I don’t know much about your past _ . Selena felt like she perhaps owed it to the princess.

“This needs to stay between us, but I came from another war.” Selena didn’t look up. “Us children watched our parents get slaughtered. I was there when she was crowned the Exalt. All of us were 14… 15… 16… too young to be the hope that the war needed. We were all just orphans fighting with the image of our parents in a pool of blood! I was there to hold her the whole time, listen to her cry when I wanted to cry myself.

“The war had so many stressed emotions. Made everything into a life or death situation. We were married without our parents there to observe it and when the war was over--she had her doubts. My love for her was never a question, but she realized that she didn’t love me in the same way. Even though we had completely given ourselves to each other, she told me she was just overwhelmed and was confused about her feelings.” Selena cursed the hot tears that were growing in her eyes. “She never loved me the way I loved her. And that hurts.”

Corrin was quiet for a moment before asking, “can I touch you?” In a stupor, Selena nodded, her curtain of hair covering her face. Corrin reached over and placed a gentle hand on her knee. “I’m so sorry that you need to carry that pain with you. But I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to share it with me.”

“I just can’t escape her. Here I am, but Odin reminds me of her. Inig-Laslow likes to bring up old stories and they’re all related to her. I feel guilty for hating her, because it’s not her fault. I can’t control how others love.” Selena was gasping for breaths.

“You’re allowed to be upset.” Corrin was gently patting Selena’s knee. “Though, I know it’s probably hard to hear, but I’m sure she never intended to hurt you. You’re an amazing person, I can’t imagine anyone would do this to you on purpose. All that being said--that doesn’t mean you can’t be upset. Your feelings are okay.”

“Gods, I can’t believe I’m such a mess in front of you.” Selena sniffed and attempted to wipe away her tears. In her hurt, everything was becoming funny. She laughed. Selena was supposed to be perfect and here she was, falling apart. She was supposed to be keeping her past a secret and she just gave the princess a full history.

“You look lovely.” Corrin answered. That was Lucina’s word, it only made her cry more. Corrin noticed and asked, “do you mind if I sit with you?”

Another nod and the two women were squeezed into the armchair. The silk of Corrin’s nightgown was resting on Selena’s lap. Selena reached out with a finger damp from her tears and played with the fabric. It was soft and smooth. It must feel nice on bare skin.

“I’m sorry for troubling you, Corrin.” Selena’s tears had finally stopped, sadness being overtaken by exhaustion.

“There’s no trouble. I would be a horrible person to ignore someone in this much pain.” She then placed an arm around the other girl and held her close. Out of habit, Selena sunk deeper into the chair and wrapped both her arms around the princess. She sunk her face into her chest.

“I’m sorry.” Selena muttered.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

The two women sat in the candlelight for a long while. Enjoying each other’s warmth, Selena eventually calmed down. Her eyes were tired from crying and from Corrin’s fingers running through her hair. She couldn’t remember the last time she let anyone do that.

In the silence, they were joined by a third person. Beruka stood in the doorway, looming on the scene. Selena did not know how long the former assassin had been there and she was not sure there was a way to tell. Stealth was her forte.

“Lady Corrin.” Beruka bowed. “Selena, I heard you get up and I was worried when you didn’t come back.”

Selena wiped her eyes in one last-ditch effort to camouflage her tears. She knew, however, that her fellow retainer was perceptive. She had built her career on it. There was no way to hide her glossy eyes.

“Ah,” Selena started, “I’m sorry. I’ll return now.” She turned towards the princess, now aware of how close they were sitting.

“Go on.” Corrin unwrapped herself from the retainer, helping her stand. “If you need anything, please come to my chamber. Goodnight, Selena. You as well, Beruka.”

The princess left, her nightgown floating behind her. A ghost returning to her domain.

“Is everything alright?” Beruka asked in her usual monotone voice. And yet, Selena knew in her heart that she meant it.

“Yes.” Selena said, but the rasp in her voice betrayed her words. “Everything is fine.”

Selena passed her fellow retainer and began her return to their room with the other in pursuit.

She felt… lighter. Selena readjusted herself as she strolled down the darkened hall. Standing tall, tears dried, chest out. She knew she could come back from this. Selena had only let her guard down for a moment.

She was lovely, after all. 


End file.
